the fossil record

For Curtis Hsiang

Esse Quam Videri

I dreamt I saw you this morning, late in a cycle

Of sleep, more than six years now since you have died.

I was entering some kind of theater or big party

And spoke seven words to you, before a man

In a dark suit interrupted us to tell me,

"M____ R_____ will be here tonight." I said, I guess

To please him, "That's awesome. He's the man."

A lie that made you smile at once, half

Out of pity, half with the malice of a friend.

Why do I buy such time from the living? And why

Do I keep your name and form, embrace them

And say, "Curtis, I am so glad to see you!"

So long since you've moved on to something else?

R. S. Deese

June 21^st, 2006